I can hardly believe I’m writing this. I’m 29 tomorrow!
Where have all the years gone, I feel like I’m still 18?!
I see friends around me turning 29/30 and cant really believe it. Some are married, have children and I suppose are ‘proper’ grown ups.
I guess one reason I don’t feel 29 is because I still live at home with my parents. It’s not my choice but it’s okay. I’m not engaged/married and I don’t have children either which I suppose are couple of the main hallmarks of people my age. The ones who have life figured out. Have their shit together.
Will I, in my last year of my 20s, get my shit finally together? I doubt it. Do I care? Not anymore.
All through my 20s I’ve been trying to ‘find myself’ and figure out what exactly do I want to do with my life but I’ve discovered that life is ever changing and people don’t stay the same.
Life events change circumstances. You can have everything one minute and it all be taken away the next!
When I was younger, I thought I had my life plan mapped out.
Get my GCSEs,
do my a-levels,
go to uni,
meet the love of my life,
have my own place at 25,
married by 29.
Children have never been in my life plan as I have always known I wouldn’t be able to have any.
How wrong was I?!
Yes, I got my GCSE’s but a-levels were a totally different ballgame. This is when my health started to take a bit of a serious nose dive. I couldn’t keep up with coursework and was in hospital a lot. So unfortunately I never got my a-levels, so that meant no university.
I met my boyfriend at 23 but we’re still saving hard for a deposit for our own home. It’s a lot trickier when both of you are ill and unable to work… I never factored that into my life plan did I?
It is disappointing, don’t get me wrong. All through my 20s I got quite down over not being where my friends were in life. Why couldn’t I just sail through life as easy as them?
I even had to see a psychologist I got so depressed over it.
But now I realise that life is different for everyone and there are no set rules.
One way the psychologist described life was: most people take the motorway but others, like me, take the scenic route. We both get to our destination but just go a different way.
Another thing I have realised is to enjoy where you are in life.
Over the years I have had friends who have died before their life even began, I know they would’ve done anything to have stayed on this earth. Just being with family and enjoying the simple things in life.
When I get frustrated now (yes, I still do sometimes) I think of them, how I know they’d do anything to be where I am.
Life is not about events to me anymore, its about love and happy moments. The owning my own home/ married life things are bonuses to me now. If they happen, great! But if they don’t, I’m blessed to feel love and see the sun rise and fall every day.