The Last Year of my 20’s

I can hardly believe I’m writing this. I’m 29 tomorrow!

Where have all the years gone, I feel like I’m still 18?!
I see friends around me turning 29/30 and cant really believe it. Some are married, have children and I suppose are ‘proper’ grown ups.

I guess one reason I don’t feel 29 is because I still live at home with my parents. It’s not my choice but it’s okay. I’m not engaged/married and I don’t have children either which I suppose are couple of the main hallmarks of people my age. The ones who have life figured out. Have their shit together.

Will I, in my last year of my 20s, get my shit finally together? I doubt it. Do I care? Not anymore.
All through my 20s I’ve been trying to ‘find myself’ and figure out what exactly do I want to do with my life but I’ve discovered that life is ever changing and people don’t stay the same.
Life events change circumstances. You can have everything one minute and it all be taken away the next!

When I was younger, I thought I had my life plan mapped out.
Get my GCSEs,
do my a-levels,
go to uni,
meet the love of my life,
have my own place at 25,
get engaged
married by 29.
Children have never been in my life plan as I have always known I wouldn’t be able to have any.

How wrong was I?!
Yes, I got my GCSE’s but a-levels were a totally different ballgame. This is when my health started to take a bit of a serious nose dive. I couldn’t keep up with coursework and was in hospital a lot. So unfortunately I never got my a-levels, so that meant no university.
I met my boyfriend at 23 but we’re still saving hard for a deposit for our own home. It’s a lot trickier when both of you are ill and unable to work… I never factored that into my life plan did I?

It is disappointing, don’t get me wrong. All through my 20s I got quite down over not being where my friends were in life. Why couldn’t I just sail through life as easy as them?
I even had to see a psychologist I got so depressed over it.
But now I realise that life is different for everyone and there are no set rules.
One way the psychologist described life was: most people take the motorway but others, like me, take the scenic route. We both get to our destination but just go a different way.

Another thing I have realised is to enjoy where you are in life.
Over the years I have had friends who have died before their life even began, I know they would’ve done anything to have stayed on this earth. Just being with family and enjoying the simple things in life.
When I get frustrated now (yes, I still do sometimes) I think of them, how I know they’d do anything to be where I am.

Life is not about events to me anymore, its about love and happy moments. The owning my own home/ married life things are bonuses to me now. If they happen, great! But if they don’t, I’m blessed to feel love and see the sun rise and fall every day.

 

be present

23 Comments

  1. / 1:50 pm

    What a wonderful and honest blog post. I’m 25 and I’m having a lot of ‘What the hell am I doing with life?’ Moments.. I guess what I take from this is that life is different from everyone and I love what your psychologist said about some being on the motorway and some people taking the scenic route. I am going to make an effort to be happier with where I am right now! ๐Ÿ˜Š xx

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 10:11 pm

      Itโ€™s such a good phrase to remember when you feel life isnโ€™t going the way you want/thought!
      Ah good! It can be hard at times but it gets easier โค๏ธ xx

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 10:08 pm

      Thank you! ๐Ÿ’—

  2. / 6:45 am

    All of this is so true! Nobody says you have to stick to โ€˜the planโ€™! Life is way too short for all of that, as you unfortunately know first hand. I fell ill when I was 20 with an incurable condition so kind of know how you feel… Iโ€™m fortunate enough to be able to work though but itโ€™s hard! You just need to do what works for you and never mind anyone who thinks youโ€™re doing it wrong. Maybe they are! Who wrote the plan anyway? I think itโ€™s crap lol! Xx

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 8:24 am

      Hahahah! Yep the โ€˜planโ€™ has definitely been chucked in the bin ๐Ÿ˜‚ xx

  3. Happy birthday! I’m sorry that life hasn’t exactly gone the way you planned, but being honest about it and changing the plan to suit your health needs is a very important step to making life more how you’d like it. Even though I am married with a son (and about to be 30 in June), my twenties have not gone to plan at all, both health-wise and bad luck-wise, and even now I am on the verge of possibly having to accept another different plan, however much i am trying to pretend otherwise! Keep pushing on and keep trying, and you just can’t do any more than that. I look forward to reading more from you, and have a great day today!

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 3:22 pm

      Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and for following my blog!!
      So sorry to hear things haven’t been going good for you lately, I really hope your luck changes asap! xx

      • Oh, they are nothing that I ought to complain about, taking the world into consideration. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. I imagine that most people have had to change the plan for one thing or another…it still sucks though! Hope you had a lovely day ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Livvy
          Author
          / 9:09 pm

          You too! โค๏ธ

  4. / 2:07 am

    Happy birthday! I feel like there isn’t a set rule on what you’re supposed to achieve by x age. I mean for all I know, people I went to HS with are on their second child, and we’re only 23. Still, even though your life went a bit different than you planned, at least you’re enjoying life the best way possible. AND YES! It is such a challenge to save up for a place!

    exquisitely.me

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 3:19 pm

      Thanks for the birthday wishes Nancy! And yes, I figured it was about time I started appreciating things I DO have in my life rather than things I DONT have! xx

  5. / 3:20 pm

    Happy belated! I think the older we get the more we realize things are different than what we thought they’d be. Real life things happens at a different times for everyone. I feel you on the house thing, took me over 8 yrs to save for a place. It’s a good feeling when you finally get there though! Good attitude to have though, life is all about the simple things!

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 3:24 pm

      Thanks so much Paolo! That’s what I keep thinking, I’ll appreciate my own home more after all these years saving haha! xx

  6. This is such a great post !!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Love it & Happy Birthday! I hope you had a really good one!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. / 10:22 am

    Love this post! I just turned 25 and felt like I had a small crisis about not doing everything I had wanted. I became ill at 23 and now have to deal with the chronic impact of that for the rest of my life too. You’re right about taking the scenic route though, I think you can have so many more experiences and lots of fun taking your time!

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 2:10 pm

      I hope your health is stable now? Thanks so much for reading! xx

      • / 1:23 pm

        I am still struggling a little but am through the worst! ๐Ÿ™‚ And no problem, I enjoyed your post!

  8. ruthinrevolt
    / 10:07 am

    “One way the psychologist described life was: most people take the motorway but others, like me, take the scenic route. We both get to our destination but just go a different way.” That’s such a good description and, honestly, I’d never thought of life like that.

    I think I’m taking the scenic route, too, so it’s nice to be on the journey with you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Livvy
      Author
      / 11:16 pm

      It definitely changed my perspective on things! xx

  9. / 10:14 pm

    I love this blog post! It’s so honest and so real! I dont feel like any of us really ever have to get our shit together and im super happy that way with my life being chaotic and messy and going in all sorts of random directions i never imagined! You’re rocking life and I hope you have the most amazing and special birthday to mark the last year of your 20’s! You deserve it! x
    Neve | https://lifewithneve.com/

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